Sad Friend

As I finish up my announcements for graduation I realize Jason won't be there. The past 4 years we haven't been close, but every monumental event in my life I remember Jason being there. It's kind of funny but the most boring things that happened to me I remember Jason making me laugh. We were in Sunday School, we went to the concord fair, we went to Daine and Kim's wedding, we went to Puerto Rico, we both made the True Love Waits promise (lol), we graduated high school together, we were in Mrs. Driscol's Biology class together, we came to Carolina. Sadly right now I am listening to him sing because it makes me somehow feel like he is alive. Our dads have been joking for 4 years that this Sunday they get to "cut us off." I remember Jason's outrage when he got waitlisted for Carolina and I got in. He was comparing our records trying to figure out why. I wish I could have one last conversation with him, tell him everything I didn't say because I was too scared or too proud. I wish I could give him a hug and tell him I will try my best to take care of his parents the way he would mine. I want to tell him in the back of my mind I always thought maybe one day his mom's dream for us would come true. It's so silly the things that come back. As exciting as this coming weekend is, I feel something is missing. Jason won't be there goofing off. He would be the one with the beach ball or better yet the Ramses suit. I won't pick him out of the crowd because of his height or most likely goofy hat because he won't be there. This is one milestone I have to do on my own. It hurts like hell. I sometimes think the hurt may never go away. God help me!